Life is Beautiful... It is OK to be Different – Part 2

Irfan lead the solat maghrib with his friends. I candid this photo using my hp camera when Irfan's friends came and lepak at our house.


“YOU ARE BLESSED WITH BURDEN, I AM PROUD WITH WHAT YOU DO. I DUNNO WHETHER OTHER FATHER OUTSIDE THERE HAS OPPORTUNITY TO SAY THIS TO THEIR DAUGHTER?” – This is another powerful sentence that represents me and Irfan that I learnt today from a movie title “The Freedom Writer’s Diary”. It’s really awesome. I will tell Irfan the same thing. I am proud of what and where he is now!

Talking about having special children…it was not easy. As said..” berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu memikul”. It is absolutely right. The environment in Malaysia is not like in the US or other European countries. Public awareness on the special people is high. But not in Malaysia. May be I can touch a bit about the challenges that I face in raising special kids nowadays.

The first sentence that I heard after I heard Irfan (Irfan the special) crying was from the nurse who assisted the doctor in the ot room..” Did you or your hubby did something wrong during your pregnancy?”. Wow! What a motivational words after challenging moment delivering my baby. That was the 1st nightmare at private hospital after delivered special baby. I didn’t even have a chance to see my baby yet but the nurse had shot me with that kind of silly question. I wonder what is waiting for me outside there. But amazingly my hubby was so calm; he took Irfan and azan to him. It was so touched when the 1st time I saw cute little Irfan with small cute little incomplete left hand. I will not forget the moment. Time running very fast and tears dried off after 3 weeks. I said to myself that it will go no where if I continue to behave like this. My mom & my hubby were always there with me giving moral support. It is not easy….extremely not easy for me to face this alone!

You guys wanted to know what I felt & what were running in my mind the 1st 3 weeks? Here you go…
1) I am not a good muslimah, my DOA not heard by Allah swt.
2) I am not a good wife, I presented defect baby to my hubby, the 1st child!
3) I am afraid people will look down to me because I have defect creation from Allah swt
4) Am I going to become a good mom to special child like Irfan? Am I strong enough?
5) I am afraid Irfan cannot face outside world
6) I am afraid Irfan cannot manage himself when I am no longer in this world

…..I am afraid of many many many more little silly things all those days. But thanks to Allah swt. Yes, I am blessed with burden and it makes me stronger and stronger day by day. Thanks Allah swt. Thanks Hubby!

Do you know how is it feeling when you bring your child to playground, shopping complex and any other public area and suddenly other parents pull away their children from your child just because of his physical is very minor different from your child? I know the feeling. Do you know how is it feeling when you walk near pregnant lady with your special child and quickly they walk away because they afraid their future baby will be like yours? I know the feeling. Do you know how is it feeling when you go to Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat and asked “ Do OKU get discount for Airlines Ticket?” and the answer was “ Yang saya tau OKU selalunya naik bas atau keretapi saja. Tak penah pulak dengaq depa naik kapai terbang”. I know the feeling. Do you how is it feeling when I asked for support for robotic arm funding from gomen and the answer was “ 35K? nak pi buat tangan kat bulan ka?”. I know the feeling. Do you know the feeling when you register your child to a normal school and the staff asked you “kenapa tak hantar pi sekolah pendidikan khas?”. I know the feeling. And many more…J

Being parents to OKU children, you have to be extremely strong mentally and physically. It is not as simple as you think. You have to be strong in order for your special angel to be raise as a strong child – physical & mental.

To be continued…